One Finger is Enough to Point out a Mistake

Others are just foolish shenanigans.

Following others to criticize the same person for the same mistake makes you an accomplice.

Personal Experience

My three-year-old nephew overturned his bowl at the dinner table, I joked, “Well, you’re finally done with the meal and can go play.” My sister’s husband furiously criticized me, “Because you spoil him so much that he is tiny and short feeding on snacks! Don’t disturb the rule in our family!”

“Sorry.” I immediately said, even though A child’s growth is influenced by genetics and long-term dietary habits. By visiting at most two days in a few months, I can barely be the ‘because’ or ‘so that’ in his life.

Then my father interjected, “Yeah, how dare you express such an opinion? Even if we remain silent, what makes you believe you’re qualified to judge?”

So, I apologized again for ‘judging’ this incident.

It occurred months ago yet remains vivid in my memory.

One Court, One Judge

It is widely acknowledged that one should not join others in condemning the same person for the same mistake, as spitting on a criminal’s corpse does not make anything better.

I suppose that’s why in a courtroom, there’s typically only one judge to conclude their personal opinion on the accused, rather than having three judges alternately berating him/her.

In the entertainment industry, shows like Next Top Model, Master Chef, or X Factor, are used for dramatic effect and plot intensification to attract viewers in a theatrical background soundtrack. However, this is contrary to the principles of humanity in the legal system, and even more so within family relationships.

Indeed, how can teaching a lesson and bullying be equated?

Childhood

I guess that might be an underground educational rule in my family.

In the first grade, my family and my uncle’s family went out for dinner. I excitedly ordered my favorite dish, but my uncle reprimanded me, saying, “Quiet down, there’s no need to be so loud.” I quickly recognized that my voice was too loud and thought to myself, ‘I need to learn patience and not get overly excited.’

Following this, my father added, “Indeed, she has always been like this. Despite my constant reminders, she never listens.”

I couldn’t comprehend why the phrase ‘stop being bad’ provoked another attack. Why was this public discipline executed by two individuals?

As my tears fell, I was unable to taste the noodles drenched in brewed pork. I remembered not only to ‘lower my voice in public’ but also to know that ‘my father might hate me.’

Teach a Lesson, not Humiliate a Person

I appreciate anyone who points out my inappropriate actions or remarks immediately, as I know it takes effort to teach a person, and when someone is willing to make these efforts for you, they only want you to be better. However, subsequent criticisms from others often seem to me as expressions of targeted animosity or the venting of negative emotions.

Being able to critique a person requires profound wisdom and life experience, so embracing criticism is a blessing to be more intelligent, thoughtful, and loving.

However, unnecessary noise from a third person will force a person to give up and stop learning. Humiliating is always easier than teaching.