Sacrificing Myself Cannot Make People Love Me More. Self-love Will be Found while Devoting to a Life Purpose
Caring for a person comes from understanding what they need, not from the personal desire of being loved more by them.
I believe that anyone who earnestly puts their heart into words will reflect on themselves and strive to do more for their loved ones.
Often, our loved ones cannot realize how much extra love, care, and sacrifice we have done for them. These are all ‘extra’ actions from our perspectives of caring and loving people, and we unconsciously want to be noticed and loved back.
For instance, if she complained about having a headache, I would research the fundamental reasons for her illness, spending an hour filtering out efficient information, another hour organizing it, and then determining how to prevent it, what to eat, and what lifestyle habits can reduce the frequency of headaches.
Breaking away from my morning routine of reading the New York Times, the Writer’s Digest, and Cooperative Writing, I seek inspiration for today’s writing and absorb constant knowledge and information to enhance my mastery of words.
However, all she needed was some cheering-up words, ‘Hang on there. Tomorrow is Friday.’
I neglected to take a crucial moment to jot down a new perception I heard during a conversation between the clerks at 7–11, as her 3-year-old son came to me saying, ‘I want to poop’.
As I returned to my laptop, the light had already dimmed in my mind, and all I could recall was the basic gist of the conversation; the electrifying flow of thought had been interrupted.
While they went out with friends to have dinner, play poker, watch Netflix, and energetically chat with each other, I became invisible and isolated, confirming my existence by reading over and over again the few comments on my articles.
How boisterous the laughing was booming outside, how dead-silent my soul was vanishing inside.
There was a time when I felt hurt and blamed myself for not earning money from my efforts, which easily left a negative impression on society, even within my family.
However, the more I read, absorb, and contemplate, the more I realize that I cannot live without working with words, even if it doesn’t offer me financial independence or recognition from my family. I find solace in the purpose of being true to myself.
I learned that I cared for people not genuinely out of love, but unconsciously hoping to be seen, recognized, and loved. I found myself feeling depressed and alone at night. This mindset isn’t healthy if I genuinely care for someone.
While I will continue to care for the people I love,
I will prioritize myself and learn to love myself more.
I will no longer ignore my feelings; instead, I will care for others when they ask for help and persist in fulfilling my life’s purpose without overthinking what I could do to be loved by others.
Even if I receive nothing in return, not even a word, from helping loved ones, I know my efforts provide them with the time to breathe, and my family is indeed my pride and joy.
It’s a perpetual lesson to remain positive when I am forgotten by them when things are going great and am called when things are going south. I admit it’s challenging for me to offer unconditional love, be taken for granted, and be considered blessed with ‘unlimited free time’ and ‘no need to work’.
But I have a purpose in my life that I cling to, akin to climbing Mt. Everest. I have many platforms like Medium, Substack, WordPress, LinkedIn, and Facebook groups to support all the word-fighters.
And we all know we are proud life fighters against self-doubt, denial, and pressure…while we were simply faithful to the passion inside our hearts.
